tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4021317.post111167605730269545..comments2023-10-17T03:46:54.909-07:00Comments on Karen's Thoughts: Terry SchiavoKarenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15915968995957299554noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4021317.post-1112257676426062672005-03-31T00:27:00.000-08:002005-03-31T00:27:00.000-08:00Dear Marco,I just found your comment; for some rea...Dear Marco,<BR/><BR/>I just found your comment; for some reason it didn't come in my email (maybe the spam filter caught it). <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I appreciate the compliment. I've been involved in so many debates in Baha'i cyberspace that very few people I know out here call me "unbiased" about anything. But I actually do try very hard to be fair, even when I'm being critical.<BR/><BR/>And you're right; everyone should have a will. Even before I became a Baha'i, I attended a training seminar for non-profit groups, and the lady giving it had a mission about this, and slipped it into her presentation. She said "Even if all you own is a beat-up Volkswagon and a cat, you don't want the government to decide who gets them." Nor, I might add, do you want your family fighting over who gets them either. <BR/><BR/>I think that's really the important aspect of writing a will -- not just that you have your wishes carried out, but that you don't leave chaos behind you. I'm sure poor Terri, whatever she wanted concerning her treatment, would never have wanted her husband and parents at each other's throats this way. I find myself wondering if any of them have ever thought about that.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15915968995957299554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4021317.post-1112025778249792062005-03-28T08:02:00.000-08:002005-03-28T08:02:00.000-08:00Thanks for the post Karen. I finaly found somethin...Thanks for the post Karen. I finaly found something unbiased on this issue.<BR/>I guess the need to write a Will is the lesson we take from this sad story.<BR/>Baquia: what if we all stop complaining about baha'i administration? If only we all could be more positive... :-)Marco Oliveirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17869587541406850153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4021317.post-1111954323896936442005-03-27T12:12:00.000-08:002005-03-27T12:12:00.000-08:00Hi Baquia,You are, of course, right -- and a lot o...Hi Baquia,<BR/><BR/>You are, of course, right -- and a lot of people have been talking about that. Although, poor Terri was so young when this happened to her that it's hard to say that she should have planned ahead of time. How many 26 year olds think about the possibility of imminent death or incapacity, especially if they don't have children?<BR/><BR/>I spent some time yesterday on a volunteer project with two ladies in their 80s -- one Democrat, one Republican. But both believed that Terri should not be kept alive, and that the tube should be removed. I find that older people almost inevitably feel that way. By that time, they've seen loved ones go through the process of dying, and think "the quicker, the better".<BR/><BR/>The problem I have with writing a "living will" is that there are all sorts of contingencies. It would have been wrong to remove the feeding tube from Terri right away -- it took years for her brain to atrophy to the point there was no hope. Early on, she even received therapy.<BR/><BR/>Thinking about it, I found that I trust my husband to make the decision. I don't believe he would be overly quick to "pull the plug", nor do I think he would be so sentimental that he'd keep me alive when all hope is gone. But I will have to make some sort of arrangements when I get to a point in life when it would be my children who would make the decision -- just so they wouldn't argue between themselves, if for no other reason.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15915968995957299554noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4021317.post-1111943967286227242005-03-27T09:19:00.000-08:002005-03-27T09:19:00.000-08:00Karen,you're right that this is a very charged top...Karen,<BR/>you're right that this is a very charged topic. You can hardly say a word about it without stepping on someone's toes.<BR/>But I'll say one thing it has taught me (carefully taking off my steel-toe industrial strength construction boots): WRITE A WILL!<BR/><BR/>And in the will, treat contingencies like entering into a vegetative state, being paralized, etc... Tell people exactly what you want and where you stand. It will make things much simpler for everyone else and you will have peace of mind that your wishes will be known and implemented.<BR/><BR/>Now if only Shoghi Effendi had followed this advice.<BR/><BR/>[ouch]<BR/>Sorry!Baquiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06666496567257618823noreply@blogger.com