Rules for the Religious Right

For those readers who are getting tired of *One Common Faith* -- I thought you might enjoy this. My favorites:

1. If any member of the religious right has been divorced, they must sit out of any conversation directly or indirectly about so-called "family values." Duct tape will be placed on the mouth of a religious rightist if they have divorced a spouse while she (or he) was sick or in the hospital, just to let everyone know that they have nothing meaningful to add to a discussion of family values.

5. If you have had an extra-marital affair, dated your secretary, or been with a prostitute (paid or unpaid), you must leave the field. You cannot tell the rest of us what to do when you don't live by your own rules. This is a very fair deal considering that you don't have to wear any scarlet letters.

10. Anyone who says they know what God meant by anything, especially anything written in a holy book, scroll, or divine fingerpainting is immediately to be dismissed from influencing the public life of the republic. Since you know what God wants, then politics is probably the last thing that you should spend your time on. Really.